Family Counseling - article by Good English Article Sites

So you've discovered you're not Mrs. Cleaver? Who is? Family counseling can be a great opportunity!

Every family has problems, especially when it comes to communicating. Each family member has their own unique personality. That being said, you put a group of individuals together in the parent-teen-kid setting and, inevitably there's going to be conflicts. Some conflicts are readily and peacefully resolved. “No, Jane, it's 20 degrees outside. You've got to wear your winter coat, period.” Jane may make a face, but it's no biggie. However, not all situations are so quickly brought to a solution. For example, if Jane, being 14, consistently balks at just about everything you say, it can become problematic. If your older teen son, Jim starts missing curfews, his friends seem to be into drugs and his usual response is, “I'm almost 18 and then I can do what I want”, you know that behavior patterns are getting out of control. When you see patterns of behavior, which never seem to change, no matter what you do, you might want to consider family counseling.

Unfortunately, many parents feel that there's some stigma attached to family counseling. Many parents believe they should be able to solve family problems on their own, feeling that a need for family counseling is indicate of poor parenting skills. There really is no such stigma attached. While you know your kids, and spouse, better than anyone, this fact can stand in the way of meaningful communication – which is your ultimate objective.

Sometimes, poor communications are simply due to everyone having preconceived ideas about the outcome of any conversation. Your kid hears, “...freezing ... coat” and simply shines it on, not having really listened. Just a parent exercising more authority. Family counseling gives the whole family an opportunity to learn new ways to deal with everyday issues.

Disrespect of parents by kids is a common issue. Sometimes it's peer driven, sometimes the child's just having a bad hair day. When the whole family is involved, the family counseling setting establishes a new hierarchy. The counselor serves as a mediator, giving guidance in subtle, but effective ways. For example, let's say you're ready to tear your hair out over telling Jane to brush her hair, wear the coat, etc. etc. The counselor, being not a member of the family, can likely be able to elicit more honest responses from Jane than you. Family counselors are hip to teen jargon, too, which sometimes help bridge the gaps in communication. Counselors are also trained to clue in on non-verbal messages and body language. Whereas Jane, and/or Jim may regularly roll their eyes heavenward when you say something 'uncool', they're not likely to be able to make that fly with the counselor – at least not more than once. The counselor may put them on the spot, with a simple, innocent, “Say, what do you mean when you do that? Can you replace that with words?”

Pretty soon, everyone begins to perceive a sense of fairness, not favoritism, in the conversations. Everyone gets to have their say. Perhaps at home, everyone talks at once, which means that no one is listening. These counseling sessions can teach everyone how to truly communicate, arrive at real solutions and learn the art of compromise, with each family member finessing their position to one that's equitable with everyone else.

Next time you're in a family problem mode, thinking, “Oh no, not this movie – again!”, you might do well to seek out a family counseling service in your local area. Then, finally, you'll get to be Mrs. Cleavers. Sweet, happy and unruffled, with happy family interactions! Yes!

Most Recent Articles